


Know that I am Dynamite;

by benorganasolos



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, But Also Slightly Murderous Ben Solo, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Lightsabers, Loss of Virginity, Mutual Pining, POV Rey (Star Wars), Porn with Feelings, RIP Hux, Smut, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 06:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15358533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benorganasolos/pseuds/benorganasolos
Summary: “You are all I have left.” He says this clearly, deeply. And she thinks her sternum might have just cracked open at how fast her heart is beating. His large hand is radiating heat across her face and the back of her neck as he runs his thumb across her cheek, his expression ardent and she thinks maybe, that he could burn out the stars with the look in his eyes.





	Know that I am Dynamite;

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kyber_krystals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyber_krystals/gifts).



> I’ve had this in my head since that sad as fuck last forcebond scene in TLJ, and muh girl [kyber_krystals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyber_krystals/pseuds/kyber_krystals) birthday was the perfect excuse to get it out of my system. Thank you to [Katie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliocentrics) for beta'ing this! You are a star.
> 
> Happy Birthday to my love Caroline and happy almost IX filming day!

_Don’t know where I am,_

_With you_

_Forgetting time and space,_

_With you_

_I wish we had a common view, you see my red as blue_

_I don’t belong in your universe_

_For better or for worse_

_-Dynamite_ by **Sigrid**

 

“What did you expect, Ben?” She says from the pilot’s seat of the _Falcon_. She is on her first solo mission since the Resistance had established a tentative base in the Outer Rim. The newly titled _General_ Dameron had noticed her apt study of the ancient Jedi texts she had stowed away on the _Falcon,_ and with some encouragement from Finn and Rose, she had set out to find someone who might be able to give her some guidance with all of this. 

“You’ve been giving me the silent treatment for _weeks_. It’s driving me insane,” A familiar deep voice gripes from behind her. She turns in her chair toward him, the old mechanism making a grating, squeaking noise as she does so. He is standing a few feet away from her, not far from where his father had found her, Finn and BB-8 hiding below deck not that long ago. It feels like a _lifetime_ since that fateful day. 

“I haven’t gotten you alone since Crait. I wanted a chance to explain myself. Can’t you let me try?” He is pleading with her, but her heart has hardened since she shut the door of the very ship she is currently piloting on him seven weeks ago.

She has already given him more chances than he deserves. 

Rey is silent as she takes a moment to study him. He looks out of place in his black robes and dramatic cape, standing amongst the rusted greys and worn out yellows of his father’s beloved ship. Her eyes trail up his black leather boots, noticing his belt and trying not to spend too much time staring at the broad line of his shoulders before meeting his eyes. She lets her gaze trace the scar she had given him, recalling the way his blood had stained the white snow in the shaking forest with drops of darkened red.

“No mask?” She asks casually, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. He groans in frustration. _This_ is the Supreme Leader of the galaxy.

“Rey, I’m being serious,” he says, and she feels her hardened heart soften just a little at the look on his face. It’s apparent that the man hasn’t had a decent night's sleep in weeks. It’s somehow even worse than before their fight with Snoke’s guards.

She steels herself, “All this time you’ve been dead set on explaining to me the ins and outs of this so-called _New Order_ that you have planned for the galaxy...Did you even think for one second to ask after your mother?” Her voice cracks and she feels her eyes begin to fill with tears.

“My mother?” He says weakly, and then he opens his mouth to continue but Rey cuts him off -

“I was ready to forgive you for everything, but you _broke her heart_ , Ben. And now she’s gone.”

“I know she’s gone. I tried to save her but there wasn’t time. I _tried to save her_.” His eyes are wide with regret and his tone is sure, but what is he _talking_ about?

General Leia had passed shortly after Crait, finally at rest in the galaxy that her son had helped to bend and break. Rey had _hoped_ that Ben would have reached out to her then, and she had waited and waited, but it had been a few days afterwards when he had appeared to her through the Force, apologetic but only determined to get her to see things his way. To _join_ him. 

“What do you mean you _tried_ to save her? You tried to kill her _._ All of us, on Crait.” Her tone is scathing and she can’t help but feel a distinct sense of deja vu at their confrontation, except this time he is fully clothed and it somehow hurts worse than it did on that rain soaked night on Ahch-To.

He visibly recoils at her accusation, “My mother died long before Crait. When the First Order took out the bridge, she was on it. I felt her presence and then it was gone. She was _gone_.”

He is saying the words like he is trying to convince himself they are true, eyes searching rapidly for something that is no longer there, and Rey can tell then that he is reaching out for her, his mother, in the Force. 

“She didn’t die on the bridge. She was able to save herself,” She says softly, understanding dawning on her.

“She was alive?” His lower lip trembles and then he falls to his knees, drawing in deep and haggard breaths as he tries to steady himself, to make sense of what she is telling him.

“Where are you?” She asks, her voice sounding watery with tears. She feels her fingers twitch, and she wants so badly to reach out and offer comfort to his obvious grief, but she can’t bring herself to move.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to…” His voice trails off and in an instant he unclips his saber from his belt and ignites it. When he meets her eyes again they are the eyes of a broken man, hellbent and wild. 

“It’s not going to change anything Ben. It’s not going to change how she died.” She sighs as she holds his gaze, the red of his saber’s glow illuminating his face. “Just…”

Her voice catches, and she is trying to find the right words to say to him, but it is too late, and the Force cuts off their connection.

She stares at the spot he had been, and for the first time since Crait, she wishes he were actually here with her.

_____________

 

“Rey, you have to wake up.”

She feels a tugging sensation in her stomach and her eyes fly open at the sound of his voice.

“Ben?” She says, her voice groggy from sleep. She is still on the _Falcon_ , and Kylo Ren is standing over her, his dark hair falling around his face.

“Yes, sweetheart. Now wake up. They’re coming for you.”

Her heart skips a beat but she doesn’t have time to process his endearment and the way he is looking at her, so she scrambles out of bed, pulling on her boots and slinging her staff across her shoulders, clipping the blaster Han had given her to her belt. It is not as good as her saber, which still lies in her satchel, kyber crystal split in two. But it will have to do.

“How do you know? What’s happening?” She says, looking up at him.

“Use the Force. You’ll feel it too.”

She does as he tells her, too apprehensive to think about how they had left things the last time they had spoken through their bond. And she does feel it, four lifeforms with the intent to kill, insidious and wrong in the Force. This was the tugging sensation she had felt, the Force warning her of the approaching danger. It was a familiar intuition, one she had felt often during her time as a scavenger.

“But what about—” Rey starts to point out the fact that two of the four lifeforms are not intent on her, but on the man currently towering over her, but is effectively cut off.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll be fine. Hux recovered the security footage from the elevator. He knows that I was the one who killed the Supr—” He catches himself, “Snoke. That I was the one who killed Snoke.”

“That was a _secret?”_ She doesn’t know why she’s whispering, only that she had told his Mother and General Dameron the truth about what had happened on _The Supremacy_. That Ben Solo had been the one to kill Snoke.

“My Knights are _strong_ , Rey. And armed. It’s best you leave this planet immediately rather than face them alone without a proper weapon.” His eyes are desperate but his tone is stern and commanding. 

“I can handle myself,” she responds, affronted. And it is the truth. Lightsaber or not, she is confident in her abilities against whoever is headed for her location. She had landed the _Falcon_ late a few nights before on the planet Shili, barely making out the colorful grassland the planet is known for in the darkness. She had found who she had set out to find, but still felt that she had so much more to learn from her.

His Knights would be expecting her to be asleep on the _Falcon_ , but she is ready now. And not the least bit afraid. 

“ _Rey._ ” He says her name imploringly as he looks down at her, and she feels heat spread across her face at the positively burning look in his eyes.

“Did you kill Hux yet?” She returns, glaring up at him and knowing that General Hux is the only person he could have been referring to in his murderous rant the last time their bond had opened. 

He looks away from her then, staring at Maker knows what— and his tone is a little lighter when he responds, “He is of no consequence any longer.” His gaze shifts for a moment before he turns his head to stare at her with those damned eyes of his again.

She meets his gaze disbelievingly, and she wants to be upset with him but she simply can’t find the energy.

“My only regret is that I didn’t kill him before he found the footage. Now, you need to get _off_ this planet and to a secure location.”

She laughs at him then, and his anger only grows at her amusement. She stops, however, when he reaches for her.

Her breath catches when his gloved hand is suddenly on her, gently cradling her neck and chin so that she looks up to meet his gaze. 

“You are all I have left.” He says this clearly, deeply. And she thinks her sternum might have just cracked open at how fast her heart is beating. His large hand is radiating heat across her face and the back of her neck as he runs his thumb across her cheek, his expression ardent, and she thinks maybe, that he could burn out the stars with the look in his eyes.

Before she can say anything he lowers his head, and _is he?_ He is. Ben is kissing her forehead.

His lips linger for a moment and she _whimpers_ at the sensation when he pulls away, and his gloved hand holds her tighter at the sound of it, his fingers reaching up and into her hair. Seemingly encouraged, he kisses her again, this time on her nose, and when her eyelids flutter closed on a soft gasp, he places kisses across each of them.

His lips then move along her cheekbone, his cool breath fanning across her face each time he pulls away and comes back again, and every time his lips find a new spot to land on her face it can only be described as the feeling of flowers blooming in her abdomen, or a lightsaber igniting in her hands.

Her breath is now coming out in soft pants. One of her hands had grabbed onto his wrist of its own accord, effectively holding it in place against her face while the other is tangled up in his cowl.

“ _What-_ ” she breathes out but is unable finish her thought because it’s just then that his other hand reaches up to cradle her face, and her head is swimming.

“I won’t lose you,” he says, and something in her breaks a little at the intensity of his words. She nods as well as she can with his hands the way they are.

He lets out a sigh of relief and drops his forehead to rest against hers for the briefest moment before stepping away from her. Leaving her standing there, staring up at him hazily. She wants him to come back to her and kiss her again. Anywhere. Wherever he wants.

“I will send you coordinates to a safe location. Promise me you will get off this planet _._ ”

“I promise,” she responds, still breathless, “how will you reach me?” She adds, afraid that he is going to fade away at any moment.

“I’ve always known how to reach you,” he responds, and the look on his face is of sheer relief, and it’s just then that the Force decides their time is up.

She whips her head around at the sound of the _Falcon’s_ comlink alerting her to a new message. It’s on a coded line that she hadn’t known existed on the ship, at the top of the message it shows the communication thread’s title. She traces her fingers over the words: _“little starfighter”._  

She smiles.

______________

 

Naboo is dreadfully humid, but that is Rey’s only complaint about the otherwise lovely planet. Ben had sent her coordinates to a compound of sorts, a very large compound with not one, but two sprawling estates. There was nothing else for miles except beautiful scenery, lush gardens and green grass as far as she can see.

A child of the desert, Rey is not used to wading through this kind of heat, and the icy water of the crystal clear lake had been a glorious reprieve from the foreign, muggy state of the air on Naboo. 

She had thought about contacting Finn, but her instincts had told her to wait. So that’s what she was doing. She knows all about waiting, after all.

She spent the next few days exploring and practicing using the Force to scan for lifeforms. So far she had discovered several humanoids at both of the homes, who must be there for upkeep because it didn’t appear that anyone had stayed there for months at least.

She had peeked in through the windows with the macrobinoculars she had found on the _Falcon_ , unsure as to who actually owned this place since she hadn’t been able to contact Ben since he had sent her the coordinates. The furniture was all covered in white sheets, which to her meant that no one had been there in awhile. She had seen that in a few old holovids during her time on Jakku, and wondered why people had such pretty things only to leave them behind and cover them up so that no one could see them.

Rey _had_ contacted Ahsoka after leaving her planet, just to let her know of the danger and that she would come back when she could. Ahsoka had taught her what she was able to in the short few days Rey was on her homeworld. What Rey had mainly wanted to know was how to build a new saber out of the one her and Ben had destroyed.

She had been working on that since she’d landed, and is currently sitting on top of the _Falcon_ and willing Ben to appear to tell her she is _doing it wrong_. Or anything, honestly.

She wasn’t worried necessarily, she would have felt it if something went wrong, right? They were connected after all, inescapably. Irresistibly.

 _Irrevocably_.

Rey lifts her face up towards the fading glow of the planet’s sun and back down again at the receptor mechanism she had started building out of spare parts and the broken hilt of the saber.

She had just gone for a swim underneath the sun soaked waterfall, gaining some relief from the wet heat that had her tunic sticking to her skin. Her hair is still damp and drying in the cooling air, and she had forgone her arm guards, wearing only her leggings and the sleeveless tunic she wears under her vest, her bare feet tucked underneath her on the mat she had laid out a top the _Falcon_.

She brings her fingers up to card through her hair at the nape of her neck and shudders when she recalls how Ben had held her that night, at how it had felt like everything was right in the galaxy when his lips had brushed against her skin.

She is sick of ignoring this incessant gravitation she felt towards him, but it was all so kriffing complicated.

She groans frustratedly and lays down on her back as she remembers his pleading with her to join him, and wonders if things would have been different if she had taken his hand in that moment when they were surrounded by the remnants of their fight. Maybe he would have had the chance if it had been then, to make peace with Leia.

_Could I have saved you?_

_No._ Ben needed to see reason, to come to terms with his guilt and grief at his own pace. She still can’t help but feel a pang of regret at how she had left him to wake up vulnerable and alone on the _Supremacy_. Especially knowing the lengths he would go for her now.

It has been four days since she had last seen him. The sun is hanging lower in the pastel pink and lavender sky, and she draws her arm across her face to shield her eyes from the still bright evening light. 

______________

 

 _Two weeks_ pass, and she has developed a sort of routine on _Naboo_. She spends most of her mornings meditating, afternoons running lightsaber forms with her staff in the tall grass fields, and then opting for a swim over the _Falcon’s_ sonic shower afterwards to cool off.

Her days always end here, her hair wet and drying in the sun as she carves a new double bladed hilt for her weapon out of wood that Ahsoka had given her from a Brylark tree, wearing only her sleep tunic and leggings on her mat on top of the _Falcon_.

She thinks she almost has it, but it is meticulous work, and she still hasn’t quite figured out how to use the Force to attach the halved crystal to each end. 

Her brow is furrowed as she solders the final wire piece to the modulating circuit, when she feels _something_ , a ripple in the Force. 

She jerks her head up, wincing at the way her spine cracks. She surveys her surroundings, and her shoulders sag when she doesn’t see a lone ship, or his transient presence through their bond.

She tries to keep her mind occupied as she waits, and she has used her time to the best of her ability. Rey almost feels as if she is in some dream world, only her and the Lake Country creatures that sing to her in sweet birdsong exist here.

And she misses Ben in a way that is unfamiliar to her. Rey had spent so much of her life missing people. Her parents, and then Finn during her time with Master Skywalker. Even Han.

But _this_ , this was something else entirely. It is an overwhelming, burning and desperate hunger that she feels for him. And she is herself. She does not _need_ him to feel complete.

But she is truly alone for the first time since their bond was formed, and she thinks that even though she does not need him, she still _wants_ him.

So she waits.

______________

 

Another week goes by, and she is in her evening spot on top of the _Falcon_ once again, hair down and still dripping a little bit onto her tunic. 

Her eyes are closed, and she is using the Force to to permeate her surroundings and draw from them, channeling the energy into the dual ends of the now complete hilt that she is grasping in her outstretched palm. She had sanded and polished the wood, and it had felt balanced in her hands but not yet _alive_.

 _Death_. _Decay_. _Breeds new life. I am one with the Force_.   

She opens her eyes. The saber ignites, both ends spitting icy blue. The beams are unstable, but somehow perfectly balanced in her hand.

Rey powers it off and stands, smiling before she _feels it_. The sensation can only be described as a wind tunnel in her ears and a piercing in her heart. She looks to the horizon, but only sees the familiar warm tones of the sunset.

She draws in a ragged breath, feeling tears well in her eyes and her heartbeat pick up rapidly. She turns her head around to face where the estate lies, jumping down into the tall grass and taking off into a sprint.

The wind is whipping the grass around as she runs, her eyes willing him to appear to her, when she sees him. A black cloaked figure amongst the meadow that is bathed golden by the setting sun. She stops in her tracks, choking on air as she suddenly feels an uncontrollable burst of anger. 

She ignites her new saber and _oh_ , it’s truly better than anything _,_ this powerful feeling that floods through her when the twin blades ignite.

Rey feels desperate and feral, _starved_. He ignites his saber, but does not remove his hood. He stalks towards her and she lunges; blue meets red.

She brings down one of her blades on his in a high arc, jaw clenched and eyes sharp. It begins, and the dance is ruthless, all fiery swings and singed earth. 

It continues like this, muscles straining as they clash again and again, the noise of it the only thing she hears over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

Then she has him, one end of her saber at his neck. He immediately powers his off, tossing it to the side and kneeling, hood falling back in the process to reveal pale skin and dark, hungry eyes. 

“You left me,” she breathes, tilting her saber down at his neck again. And it might be irrational, and not entirely how she had been feeling up to _this moment_ , but it is all she can think to say.

“Never again,” he states clearly, his eyes molten and mouth set.

Her chest is rising up and down in tune with her breath as she tries and fails to choke back her tears. She powers her saber off and drops it, and he is immediately on her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her stomach.

Rey brings shaking fingers down to tug at the ends of his hair, when she realizes that he is actually _here_. This is not a projection through their bond.

She slides down to kneel in front of him, running her fingers across his lips as he wipes the wetness from underneath her eyes. Their foreheads meet, and they stay like that for a moment as they catch their breath.

And then, _then_ just as she begins to feel that desperate yearning again -  he moves his hand to gently tilt her chin up to meet his lips. His mouth moves against hers, tugging and soft, a stark contrast to their earlier battle. 

The whine that comes unbidden from her throat hums between their mouths as he swipes the tip of his tongue along her lower lip. The sensation of it shoots straight between her legs and her skin feels tight when he groans and moves his hand to cradle the back of her head.

She pushes herself against him to get closer, because she needs _more_ , but he is a mountain, immovable as he pulls her gently away only to drag his lips down to her neck, trailing open mouthed kisses across her jaw along the way. She gasps as he licks and bites the spot where her shoulder and the curve of her neck meet, and then his lips are blessedly back to move against her mouth.

She opens to him and he tilts her head in a way that makes the slide of his tongue along hers feel like nothing she has ever felt before, and her stomach jumps at the sensation. 

And now her body is pulsing with need, so she pushes against him again, wanting friction and to feel the press of his body against hers. To know that he is _here_ with her. Solid and real.

She moves to wrap her arms around his neck and his hands automatically reach around her waist to hold her body flush to his; she sighs when she feels his gloved hand reach under her shirt to span across her lower back. Rey takes his lower lip between her teeth in response, and is rewarded when both of his hands are suddenly sliding down her back and squeezing her bottom. Her whole body clenches at the thrill caused by his touch, and the spot between her legs throbs.

“Rey,” Ben groans and she swallows deeply before pulling just far enough away to meet his hazy stare. “Why are you still crying?”

 _Crying?_ She pulls back further and brings one hand down to wipe at her eyes, only to find that _yes_ , she is crying.

“The bond hadn’t opened for weeks. I thought maybe you were hurt or…” She pauses and slides her hand up to touch his lips again, “I was patient, but sometimes I would have doubts. Thoughts that you had changed your mind about me.”

He growls, burying his face in her neck when the bond is suddenly flung open to her and she... she _knows_ now that she should not have doubted him, that he would never lie to her or willingly break a promise. His feelings for her are overwhelming and damning, so much so that she never wishes to be parted from him again.

He’s kissing that spot on her neck once more, and she doesn't even notice until he is laying her down on her back that he had used the Force to lay out his cloak behind her. She looks up at him, bathed in the amber glow of the setting sun and reaches to tug at his shirt, wanting to see what the rest of his skin looks like in this light. She smiles at him when he undoes his belt and lifts his shirt off.

“It’s almost like you know what I want before I ask,” She says breathlessly.

“You’re projecting,” he answers, eyes flashing to hers, and her face is suddenly burning at the implication, making her squirm.  

Ben smiles slightly looking down at her, and she just can’t handle that right now because his arm guards and bare chest are doing funny things to her stomach, so she grabs his hand and tugs him down on top of her. He lands with his forearms on either side of her head, caging her in. His stare is as intense as ever, roving over her features before meeting her eyes. 

Her brow is furrowed and she almost, _almost_ says _please_ but then he slides his knee between her legs and pushes his thigh up against her center. She glances down and lets out a puff of air at the pleasure that radiates when she grinds against him experimentally. She tries it again and her eyes roll back at the mouth watering stimulation. 

She blinks her eyes open to see him staring at her, an indescribably hungry look on his face before he kisses her. She inhales sharply through her nose when she is suddenly aware of his own arousal, both through their bond and physically pressing against her stomach as he pushes his thigh deliciously against her clothed cunt.

The sudden sensation of his tight and throbbing need through the bond as he grinds down on her sends a rush of wetness to her sex and she thrusts harshly against him in return.

“I’ve never done -” She starts,

“Shh,” Ben whispers, interrupting her and laying kisses all over her face, “Neither have I.”

And she forgets to breathe when he pulls back just to unabashedly stare down at her again. She whimpers because she knows she needs _more_ from him. So she reaches down to pull her sleep tunic off, exposing her from the waist up. 

She doesn’t have a moment to gauge his reaction because he goes straight for one of her nipples with those lips of his and sucks. She moans, running her fingers down his smooth back to tug at the waistband of his pants. He won’t move away from her breast though, pinning her down and swiping his tongue against her nipple again and again. He pulls away to tear his gloves off with his teeth, and uses his bare hand to knead her other breast. He ducks back down and is nibbling on that same nipple causing pinpricks of lascivious pleasure to shoot straight to her sex.

Rey grabs the back of his head, using his hair to tug his face over to her other breast and he obliges, all while continuing to grind against her. Each swipe of his tongue over her nipple causes her cunt to throb with arousal. She finds herself needing _more_ again, for it seems that she will never get enough.

Then he is trailing wet kisses down her stomach and along the waistband of her leggings. His eyes snap up to meet hers and she is shouting _yes_ at him through their bond. But his look implores her so she nods her consent. _Whatever you want._

But instead of tearing off her last layer of clothing he grabs either side of her hips and kisses the fabric covering her sex. And then a groan bursts from her chest when he latches on and sucks at her through the fabric, breathing his hot breath into her aching center.

Ben peels her leggings off then, tossing them to the side and then sliding his body down even further to spread her open. She can feel his anticipation through their connection as he takes one finger and circles it around her clit a few times before sliding it into her body.

It is an odd sensation, deeply erotic, but not quite what her body needs. She pushes her hips up against his finger, asking for more. He gets up on his knees and is looking down into her eyes when he adds another finger and _yes, that’s better._ His eyes remain intent on her face when he experimentally curves them upwards, in the process grazing a spot that causes her vision to white out and her body to shake.

Ben catches on and does it again and again until she is a panting mess at the feel of his thick, long fingers stretching her and thrusting into her.

He is staring intently at her mouth before he bends over her writhing body to lick at her lips, groaning when she bites at his in return. Rey has touched herself before, and knows what she needs, so she reaches down and pulls his fingers up to her sensitive nub. 

He obliges, swirling the pads of his fingers around her clit and _kriff_ the pleasure is the most intense and all-encompassing thing her body has ever experienced and her brain is _buzzing_ with it.

Rey is at the edge, about to give in to the building lust that is causing her hips to undulate against his ministrations when he slides down her body and takes her clit between his lips, sliding it back and forth before sucking. Her body shakes as she bites down on her lower lip to keep from screaming out, and it feels like the tide coming in and crashing against her body when she finally lets go. She feels a surge of wetness trickle down onto his cloak at her release, and he hums and brings his mouth to her entrance, licking at her lazily as she attempts to catch her breath. 

She whimpers and he squeezes her thigh in response, continuing to lave at her with his tongue.

Rey lets him continue as she feels her breathing begin to even out, staring up at the darkening sky.

“Will you let me have you?” He suddenly asks, and she looks down to see his dark eyes gazing at her across the planes of her naked body, now bathed in the blue glow that appeared when the sun had sunk too low for Rey to see. 

And she will never be _had_ , but her and Ben? They are different. One soul split in two, the perfect balance between light and dark, passion and serenity. The Force sings when they are together and aches when they are apart. So, she thinks maybe that Ben Solo can have her, if that means that she can have him too.

“Yes,” she affirms.

Ben growls against her then, the rumble causing her to huff and thrust her hips against his face. He gives her sensitive nub one last kiss before crawling up her body and claiming her lips. She tastes herself against him and pulls back, wanting to see the evidence smeared across his lips.

She drinks him in, his dark eyes hooded as he meets her gaze. Her eyes shift down to what she had wanted to see, and sure enough his lips and chin shine in the moonlight.

And suddenly, Rey can’t wait any longer. She tugs at the waistband of his pants until he stands above her to remove the rest of his clothing, mouth watering at his exposed skin. Her aching center clenches with need at the sight of his hard length, knowing that soon they will be joined.

Ben kneels back down and Rey trembles slightly at the feel of his naked body against hers, his hardness pushed against her abdomen as he hovers over her. When she looks up he is staring at her once again, and her heart skips a beat when he raises his hand to graze his fingertips over her lips, down her neck, over the peak of her breast and then down, finally reaching where she needs him most.

He kisses her gently then, the soft press of his lips causing her body to melt as he rubs his fingers against her, bringing her to another peak. She feels languid, ready to be as close to him as humanly possible. So she tells him through their bond, and a guttural noise escapes his throat in response and he grinds himself against her. 

“I’m not going to last,” he says softly, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She hums and runs her fingers down his ribs before wrapping her legs around his waist. Exhaling at the feel of him pressed against her center.

Curious, Rey wraps her hand around his length and smiles when she feels the spike of arousal through the bond. He pulls back and holds her gaze, wordlessly questioning her and all she can think is _yes_ before he takes himself in hand, positioning himself at her entrance and... _oh_.

He is slowly pushing himself inside of her, and it doesn’t hurt, not really. But her skin suddenly feels tight and hot, and her eyes begin to water at the odd tearing, stinging sensation of his girth stretching her. 

On his end however, she feels intense pleasure, hot and pulsing as he resists the urge to sink into her wet heat. She realizes that he is holding back, so she grips his waist and pulls him inside of her to the hilt.

 _“Fuck_ ,” he chokes out, and her insides are thrumming for him to do _something_ so she clenches down on him, and is immediately met with the harsh thrust of his hips. 

A whine escapes her throat and her brow furrows at the pleasure that ripples through the bond, and he kisses her, driving into her aching center again and again and Rey feels like a desert scavenger once more, starved and desperate for him in this moment.

Ben shifts back, still burning and hard inside of her as he grabs her legs and folds them up against her chest. His cock thrusts harshly into her, and she cries out at the wet surge of pleasure that this new angle brings the deeper he hits inside of her. 

She hooks her legs over his shoulders and pulls him down to lick at his mouth, biting his lower lip and smiling when he groans and snaps his hips up into hers even harder. She is climbing with him, pleasure blurring the edges of their vision with each thrust. She wants to keep climbing until she sees stars, until the throbbing between her legs is sated.

“Rey,” Ben breathes out, and she can hardly think with how he fills her up and hits that spot inside of her with every jerk of his hips. She can no longer keep track of whose pleasure is whose, every sensation blending together through their connection in the Force.

She whines when he pulls back from her, but it is only to rub just above where they are joined with his thumb. And she is delirious, her cunt clenching and spasming around him.  

She simultaneously wants to push closer and pull away from him but his grip on her hip is relentless and he continues, now swirling the pads of his fingers around her clit as he drives into her.

Then, brilliant and intense, the dam breaks and she cries out at their shared release. The built up pleasure erupting beneath her skin as she clutches at his wrists, effectively holding him in place. He groans and her eyes snap open to study him, and she thinks that he is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Scared and flushed, eyes glassy in the pale light of the planet’s moon.

Ben kisses her then, languidly. It is comforting, an unspoken promise layered beneath the pull of his lips and the slide of his tongue. He draws himself out of her wet heat to lay beside her, pulling her to his chest.

“Will you stay?” He asks deeply, his body tensing up ever so slightly in wait of her response.

Instead of answering, she lifts her head to kiss him tenderly where the scar that mars his face begins. She traces it with soft brushes of her lips before bringing her mouth to meet his, and she makes sure that the bond between them is wide open.

She shows him the future she had seen with him when their hands touched over the warmth of a fire, before they had known what it felt like to stand side by side, or to miss each other. 

When he rolls her over and peppers kisses over her face and neck at the revelation of what she had seen, Rey laughs— open and unbidden.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first solo fic and my first time finishing an in-universe ~project...so I hope you enjoyed it! Let’s all hope that Rey and Ben get a happy ending in IX. It’s what they deserve.
> 
> HAPPY B-DAY CAROLINE!!!


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